Yes, life gets rough.
Naturally, when that happens, we tend to switch on our self-doubt mode.
“Why me? Life is unfair!”
We tell the story as victims because complaints are the easiest way to escape the pain. It is always easier to blame others rather than taking on the responsibility ourselves.
Unfortunately, complaints are proportionate to helplessness.
It looks like this on a chart.
When our minds get clouded with negativity, we surrender our powers. We trapped ourselves a mind-prison. And it becomes a negative spiral.
I had one of those moments.
“It is unfair!” I went for a drink with a friend and I complained about something. Negativity feeds on negativity. Then next thing I knew, I was bitching about everything under the sun.
Noticing that I am getting into a victimized mindset and I was dramatizing my pain, my friend snapped me out of it.
“Do you know Satya Nadella?” my friend asked.
“Of course. he is the CEO of Microsoft,” I said.
“A glamorous job, right? But, unknown to many, his firstborn, Zain was born with cerebral palsy and he is quadriplegia,” my friend said.
Satya’s eldest child, Zain is severely disabled. He was born weighing just three pounds, having suffered asphyxiation in utero; as a result, he is visually impaired, has limited communication and is a quadriplegic.
“Satya had 2 choices. Bitch about his unfortunate, or do something about it. Guess which one did he pick?” my friend asked.
“After Zain, things started to change for me. It has had a profound impact on how I think, lead and relate to people.” Satya said in an interview.
Satya said it publicly more than once, that empathy is the cornerstone of his leadership. It helps him in turning around Microsoft.
And more importantly, it makes him a better human.
Struggle and pain have a purpose in our life. They are the Universe’s way of teaching us how to be a better person. They will diminish when you complete your lesson.
“Whatever that you’re going through right now can’t be worse than having a quadriplegic son literally speaking. So I am sure you can make good use of this experience, just like Satya,” he said. The question is … “are you going to allow yourself to do it?” he asked.
Let me tell you another true story.
I was in the lift with a group of strangers. Let’s call them A, B, and C.
“Hey, are you guys going to the party tonight?” A asked B and C.
Both B and C looked surprised. Obviously, they didn’t get the invite.
“Why am I not invited!” B said with a hint of sarcasm.
“Great! Guess I’d just have to invite myself!” C said matter-of-factly.
Yes, oftentimes, life seems unfair. But it will good eventually!
Meanwhile, you have to decide how to look at it.
Oh, Microsoft just became a trillion dollars company.